Originally penned/published August 25, 2011
(a few people have recently said, in one way or another, that they want to get inside my head or wish they could for just a few minutes – so here!! My reason for leaving it somewhat un-edited. This is the chronological flow as it happened. And since this was sort of thinking out loud – I did revise a little – but if it seems jumbled, well, my head is kind of jumbled sometimes, so that’s why. ;) )
So What’s in the ‘warning’? Why do we warn people?
1. Because we don’t think they can handle what’s coming
2. Because we don’t think they want what’s coming
3. Because we don’t want to see them hurt in some way
I’m going to stretch the 1st one out a little: why would we think someone can’t handle something?
Because they’re not strong enough? But not just physically, also emotionally, mentally, spiritually or maybe also because it doesn’t seem like they have enough resources around them that they could use as support/backup or to help ‘repair’ if something tragic happened.
Why are we so worried about other people’s abilities? Warning is really about ourselves. They’re about our own perception of someone else’s abilities or of the resources they have available.
Now sometimes resources are easy to see. Like money, if people flash it around. But we all probably know someone who flashes money around when they really don’t have a whole lot to be spending on ‘flash-y’ ish, right?? Yeah… lol
And some resources are not so easy to see. Like inner strength. Or it’s opposite – inner frailty. People can always, and many sometimes do, ‘put on’ or put up a ‘front’ as though they are really tough emotionally or really weak emotionally, when they’re really the opposite. Again, I’m sure we all know someone who’s done that. A lot of people do. It’s interesting to me. (But a lot of things and people are interesting to me…. I digress)
So, granted, we can’t really help having some kind of perception of people, but my current struggle with this is that people surprise me every day. Honestly, they do. And I laugh a lot, at people and things, often out of sheer surprise.
Why? How? Because I let people be clouds. Not fluffy. Just clouds. I don’t have many expectations or assumptions about other people’s behaviors or responses to things, or what’s going to come out of their mouth without a prompt. It’s kind of fun, I’ve been at it for a short while and life is more fun this way. It really is. You should try it! Even just for a little while, just check it out! :)
And I honestly try to be the same with everybody. So then, the question arises: how do you ‘let people be clouds?’ What does that even mean? Well I have a poem called “Let Them Be Clouds,” you could see me perform it if you come see me perform. If you’re not able, I will publish sometime not TOO far into the future so you can read it then too. (And if you’re really just dying to read it, email me. I’ll just send it to you.)
But for the sake of trying to describe that here in this post, here’s my process: I do form some ideas form the things I gleam from my interactions with people and from my observations of them. But I don’t hold people to what I’ve seen, what they’ve shown me, or what they’ve said (unless of course they make a promise of some sort and then I expect they keep it). But that’s really it. Unfortunately, a lot of people say they’re going to do something and never do it. This used to annoy the hell out of me!! Seriously. To be honest, it still does a little but I don’t let myself dwell on that because I can’t control it, y’know? I just put it in that person’s ‘cloud box,’ this mental collection I keep of accumulated notions I have of them. And I remember. In the event that I think I may want to call upon them for something in the future – I remember. I’ll think like “ohh hmm.. well… last time they said they would but..” and then I just may not call on them. Most likely, I won’t. I know a good number of dependable people. Thankfully. But when you’re a dependable person, that can often be a result.
So, I honestly try to let people just be accumulations of what they’ve shown. But I always know, I always remember, that they’re going to change… I mean, I change. I’ve changed A LOT over time… but also, not really. In essence I’m still the same person i was at age 5… I just know more, lol. And I suppose I have more skills. But I honestly try to be at that center, at that age, in that way that I’ve always been. I shift a litte, you know, we all gotta dance, but overall that’s what I aim for.
A little more bravery. (though actually, I was quite brave then)
A little less recklessness. (well.. I wasn’t so reckless then…. and I’m not so reckless now)
The same degree of laughter
The same degree of sadness
The same degree of wild wonder and the same curious mind
The same amount of smiles in my days and dances in my steps.
…. it’s sort of impossible. But actually not really at all. Either way, I try anyway. I always try. More often than not I try REALLY, REALLY hard. I just do. I probably did when I was 5. Stems from great encouragement!
And I get really close sometimes.
Though sometimes less so,
But that’s what I aim for.
That’s my peace. The opposite of warning.
And I get pretty close pretty often.