Originally penned/published: July 2, 2011
Today I was telling a friend, a friend who doesn’t “read” people well, doesn’t connect to them emotionally so much as observe them analytically, that I had a new idea for a show. A ‘One Woman Show’ I called it. Though I’m not even sure that’s an accurate description as it hasn’t yet fully taken shape in my mind but I digress…
So my friend said to me “you don’t have ideas so much as you have tangents.” I was slightly offended.
It ended with me agreeing that yes, I do in fact have tangents, but that I also have some new, original ideas too. I told him that he was ‘boxing me in’, you know, categorizing me instead of just seeing me for who I am. He said he was doing the exact opposite, which I do sort of believe that he really did think he was doing the opposite. But to me, I think he really was boxing me in still, without realizing it. His explanation was that by seeing me as someone who thinks tangentially, that this way of thinking is so uncommon that to him he didn’t see it as ‘boxing me in’ so much as recognizing how I was different from a lot of people he knows. An interesting idea, however, my reply was still that: no, he was still in fact boxing me in because he labeled me as someone who ONLY thinks tangentially, which is incorrect. Yes I do think tangentially, but I also think up brand new ideas, which I would say is not tangential thinking.
This may seem silly to some. However I’ve had issues with this friend in the past for doing this very thing to me: not just allowing me to be me and seeing all of the variety in my personality, but kind of labeling me and then moving on. And then being surprised when he sees me do something or hears me say something that goes against this compilation of pieces of ‘me’ that he has in his mind. This is something I absolutely despise. However because I do truly love this friend, I still see value for him in my life. I just see this as something we should work on in our friendship.