When You Realize This Society Wasn’t Made for You… Or Musings From a Recovering Athiest

Originally penned/published: October 7, 2012

I’m sick of the poverty in our capitalism.

(a line from one of my latest poems, performing tonight at Java Monkey coffeehouse, Decatur, GA. 8pm sharp! And FREE! videos will follow!)

Quite frankly, I don’t see how Christianity and our current practiced capitalism can coexist harmoniously.

They’re antithetical.

There is so much greed and excessive consumption and so much waste and destruction of the earth in the way we practice capitalism: our habitat, y’know that thing we live on, and off of, that we need to keep healthy in order to thrive ourselves…

It has gotten to the point that our practiced capitalism is destroying the earth. It got to this point a long time ago actually, but yeah, we’re still here. Doing the same shit. And the US is not the only evil. Most other “developed” nations, or core nations if you will, engage in similar practices. And different but also destructive practices exist in all nations. It seems inescapable to me. But perhaps it isn’t. I really don’t know. I’ve been longing for a place where people care more about preservation and community and enjoying the fruits of being alive instead of just shopping and shit.

But I don’t know where that is. In fact, it’s probably everywhere, and just a matter of to what degree and finding the right people. It’s in the arts scene, definitely the poetry scene, but those other things are there too. It’s just a mesh.

And, forgive me for wanting so much, but I just want better damnit. Lol.

I want more sanctity, more love among my people and progress toward useful gains, sustainable and good things, and less waste. Less excess. I really hate excess.

When people get excessive they develop addictions. I think the two are interrelated. Addictions to shopping, eating, smoking, sex, gambing, drugs of course, all kinds.

In our society there is too much focus on the self.

In my opinion at least.

So we tear each other apart. And other countries through war and ravaging resources.

 And how can this be called just? Whether you’re a religious person or not, it’s just not right. “Do unto others.” Do people STILL not realize that destroying another person or another community will eventually come back to destroy yourself?

I don’t think people believe this any longer.

Quite frankly, I don’t know what people believe.



But the religious folks, man, I wonder. Too many of them seem so complacent. Perhaps I just don’t know enough. But I don’t see how one can be religious and be okay with the way we practice our capitalism.

It just doesn’t make sense.

And sure, atheism seems to be more popular now than ever. And at least that’s honest: if you don’t call yourself a Christian or a Buddhist or define yourself by any one religion –then you can claim to write your own doctrine and somehow seem to escape the responsibility. The questions. Being held to the fire with your convictions. I mean, if you don’t claim a religion or a ‘way,’ then really, you don’t ever have to have convictions at all! What an escape!

But then again… if you are religious and do define yourself as such, and you don’t adhere to the convictions of your doctrine then… is that really any different?

Either way you burn….


…. Not to get too excessive now, come back to reality Tawny….


So sure, we’re all human and everyone makes mistakes, gives in to human urges and passion and does foolish things. Everyone has regrets. But how hard do you try?

Yeah, Tawny, how hard do YOU try???

Mmm… And I can hear my father, “Well, if you want more sanctity, more love among your people, more progress toward useful gains, more sustainable and good things, and less waste, less excess – well then I guess you’d better get to work.”


I have learned how to tame myself. That is good. Necessary.

Necessary for preservation.


But having learned that and trying quite intensely to remain this way, now what? What do I do with all the excess that I see? All of the misalignment in our society? The poverty in our capitalism? The poverty in our communion – as people, to one another?

What do I do with that?

It begins with an ideology. And it takes practice.

The rest, is just a lot, a lot of work.


These are my thoughts for the day.
Good morning and blessings.


Wish me luck at my feature tonight!! I’m nervous! And excited!

It’s going to be MAGNIFICENT!!