Originally penned/published: Jan 26
This dating thing is obnoxious, so I just keep leaving.
A male friend asked me the other day, “So why do all these men keep idolizing you?”
I got frustrated and replied, “I HAVE NO IDEA!!!”
And its largely true.
I don’t get it, and I don’t really have to I suppose, I just don’t like it. It’s ridiculous. It’s not real.
It makes me wonder what their intentions are in dating. Are there people out there just looking to idolize?
While that may not be a conscious intention, I think too many folks don’t take dating and relationship building seriously.
You cannot get to know someone if you create as fantasy version of them in your head.
And that sh*ts obnoxious.
Recently I’ve tried catching a few of them in the middle of their daydreaming of me (I can see it!) and halt them to tell them that this happens a lot and warn them to stop.
It’s yet to work.
People do what they will.
So I just keep leaving.
I need stronger men.
But if I’m being honest, I have been there myself. Idolizing a man. Removing any sense of individuality, peculiarity, anything disagreeable from him with my magic idolatry stick… And y’know what, that sh*t doesn’t last. It feels good in the beginning, right? You’re all caught up and swept away by the sheer glory of this uber-human-unicorn-person, I mean it feels GOOD to idolize someone.
And y’know what else: It’s easy.
Whether it’s born out of the desire for easy or it just happens as a result of not paying attention, being ripe for a daydream and getting swept away.
It’s still easy yo.
And ‘easy’ makes me sick.
Not that I’m looking for hard just…. genuine.
I wonder if maybe at various times in our lives we are ripe for idolizing or ripe for being idolized… And do we have a degree of control over either one?
Are there things I could do or halt to avoid being idolized?
I don’t know.
But I’m not sure I’m open to all that. I love myself, I enjoy myself, I have fun. I’m not going to stop that.
I will keep thinking on this but… if you’ve got suggestion, I’m listening, on how to keep a person from idolizing you?
Cuz this sh*ts annoying dude.
I’m just gonna keep leaving…