Practicing the Responsibility of Freedom…

Originally penned/published:  Jan 2, 2016

So far in this new year I’ve been thinking a lot on freedom. The concept of freedom, what that means to me and what it looks like, how freedom acts within my body… whether or not that action is always good…

I’ve also been thinking on the consequences of feeling a lack of freedom in certain areas of my life as well as wondering if it’s possible to have too much freedom…. or what having more freedom might mean in regard to freedom’s opposite… whatever that is…

Lol, anyway here we go! I’ve got a lot of quotes and messages and images on my phone about freedom. When my phone starts up there is a message that I programmed in there that says, “Practice Your Freedom” – a phrase I saw a friend write on Facebook some time ago that really resonated with me. But I think I am wondering and needing to better learn how, and how to do that well.

My favorite quote on love is, “You should love in such a way that the person you love feels free” by Thich Nhat Hanh. I find freedom and comfort in the company of my friends and family with whom I can be fully and completely myself. I think that, essentially, is the essence of true freedom for me: To be able to be completely, 100% authentically myself without fear of negative repercussions.

I think I pretty much have that in my personal life. Professionally, I think, is where I would like to have more of that. Since my work has taken a bit of a larger role in my life now to date, I feel like I am sacrificing more by being “on” more often and in a more significant way.

And, yes, I do think it’s worth it for all of the good that I am able to do in my work. But I also feel like after a few years of it, I’m going to seriously need more freedom. More time just being myself, without having to impress or convince or fundraise or… I think I could end up burnt out.

I also came across this quote this morning on Pinterest:

And I think that’s the rub. Y’know, my soul is not a hologram of my resume + cover letter, it doesn’t wear blazers and heels, it isn’t always proper and it’s language ain’t always PG.

I like the freedom to be fully expressive. And I feel a bit cornered at times by not always being able to be that way.

Eventually, I think I am working toward self employment. This is an interesting discovery period, however, in finding out what that will look like, what I will incorporate, what kinds of activities really feed my soul and help me feel most free and most empowered.

But at present, without having all of that knowledge yet, I am currently reflecting on the below:

It takes great bravery to exercise great freedom. And a LOT of self knowledge to do it well and masterfully. And in a healthy way. I know there are ways I’ve been poisoning myself: Drinking too much, Not eating very well a little too frequently…

And other ways of just not living up to my full potential. So for now, I’m going to explore that.

You can find me where I’ll be finding more of myself:

Practicing freedom and practicing love.