No One’s Leaving Should Be A Threat
Originally penned/published: Jan 4, 2016
I like this quote, but I don’t love it. I found this the other day while browsing quotes on freedom for the previous post. I’ve been thinking a bit about acceptance lately in relationships. No one is perfect. And there are some people who, for me at least, I just have a hard time being around. For whatever reason, something in their personality is a rub for me. But in our close relationships, everyone we love is going to drive us crazy at some point.
I just finished a 6-day trip with my best friend. I know I drove her crazy at times, and she drove me crazy too. But at the end of it, through humor and silliness, we are able to shrug off any irritations from each other and still have an amazing time and come home still loving one another.
I watched my parents over the last two days as well. They both have ways in their personalities that irritate each other. And you could see it pop up almost daily, in small doses. But they let it go.
And that’s beautiful.
What I don’t like about this quote, however is “without the threat of you leaving.” I guess, that’s fair maybe for our closest relationships, the one’s we’ve committed to, but I see this more applicable in an every day kind of way. So I re-fashioned it a little:
I think I value more the human’s ability to fully self actualize, to pursue their dreams, to find where it is they really need to be and among whom much more than I do committment. (Oof. This may lead to another post but let’s get back on track for now): Not everyone you meet and join up with for a while is going to be on your journey for the long run. And even those who are, sometimes the distance changes. As we grow, we change, and sometimes that means we need to leave.
I don’t think anyone’s leaving should be a threat.
Really, it’s a message. Could be one of many:
This place/relationship no longer serves me
There is something I need to pursue that is of ultimate importance, so I cannot stay
Maybe there is not another thing or place or venture I have to go to…. but I can just tell that this place is not right for me.
In short, I just don’t think we should take it as a threat when anyone leaves us. There are always reasons and lessons. And sure, it may be sad, it may hurt a lot! But I believe people need to do what they need to do and they ought to be able to feel supported and accepted in their pursuit of their full selves. Even if that means leaving…
…but maybe I am a just a super-individualist. Or a claustrophobe. Or a runner. Or a changeling.
Or I just really, really, really love feeling free.
Good Day family.